4th & 5th Step Retreat Vision

The vision for the 4th & 5th Step Retreat started with a personal experience more than 30 years ago. I was in a rough spot in recovery and needed to unload painful baggage from my past. Thinking about writing a “searching and fearless moral inventory” filled me with fear and shame. Actually, sitting down and sharing the inventory with another human being was inconceivable. My daily life was filled with distractions. A full-time job, three kids and a husband left little time for painful reflection.

As the days went on, people in A.A. meetings advised me to do the 4th & 5th Step. I was told there was a retreat in Milwaukee that offered an entire weekend based on Step 4/5. You could get help writing your inventory or, if you were prepared, there would be an opportunity to take your 5th Step with an experienced facilitator who was also in AA.

I went to Milwaukee and was welcomed into a very large Victorian home. I met other AA’s there who were also looking for help with their 4/5th Step. The weekend was amazing. Being away from the day-to-day distractions sharpened my focus on the task at hand. Meeting fellow travelers on “the road to happy destiny” was delightful and comforting. I was not alone. I became less afraid. The experience of sharing my 5th Step was humbling as well as freeing. My burden of guilt and shame was lifted. I was free.

On the drive home from Milwaukee and for weeks after I began to think about bringing the same retreat experience to Green Bay. My vision was inspired by my personal journey that weekend and the A.A. members present who served us.

What would it take to make this happen?

• A Place

  A place that was safe and protected the anonymity of the people present. A place that was secure, comfortable and free of distractions.

• A Time

  A weekend experience would be ideal, offering time alone to review, prepare and focus on the 4th and 5th Steps. Time to write out an inventory that was “searching and fearless.” Time for an opportunity to sit down with “God myself and another recovering human being” to sort out “the exact nature of my wrongs“.

• Fellowship and Support

  Find other A.A. members who would be willing to come and share their experience, strength and hope regarding their own 4th & 5th Step during this weekend. Together, with the retreatants, we would form our own recovery weekend.

Over the years, evaluations from participants of this retreat have confirmed their appreciation for the opportunity to come to a place where the focus was specifically Steps Four and Five. These two Steps are universally daunting but absolutely essential for recovery. It has been our experience that people are filled with fear upon entering the retreat but inevitably spiritually uplifted and relieved when they leave.

The Big Book tells us: “Though our decision (3rd Step) was a crucial and vital step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face and be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom.......we had to get down to conditions and causes. (p64) Step 4 “We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best one first. If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking (p72) .

Therese H.